Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
