We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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