No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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