he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
