some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
