Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
