for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
