I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
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