i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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