what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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