I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
