That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
