I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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