either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
