I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
