you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
