I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
