Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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