it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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