i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
This baby is an asshole
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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