I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
