he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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