It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
