Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can I color on your dick again?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I still have a little drunk in my system
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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