I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize