He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
