question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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