you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
