You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
