After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize