College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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