Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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