you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
