I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
