Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i think i have two assholes
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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