I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
