Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
