OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize