I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Holy shit dude........stairs
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
