Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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