I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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