youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
