"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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