the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
