yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
