i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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