if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
