Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
