Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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