You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Never joke about your clitoris.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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