there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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