I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
