Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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