He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
