I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
