I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
