The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
