Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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