she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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