Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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