Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize