I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
